Tuesday, July 12, 2016

A Brighter Day

It's not easy having to share small space with so many people. The other night I was feeling overwhelmed, so I called one of my favorite cousins who is very "earthly" like I am. She told me to walk barefoot outside and connect to the earth. She told me to talk to my ancestors and ask for guidance. She told me to let the Universe know what I need. Those are all things I know to do, but somehow in the midst of my turmoil, I never even considered those things.

Since that conversation, I have been cooking delicious food like I used to. I've always loved cooking, but rarely do it when I'm not happy. I've been looking into ways to make money from "home" and also planning to have a garage sale this weekend.

I did have a mini breakdown as I was driving RJ to the next state over to hand him over to a coach for a basketball tournament today. He's my toughest kid to deal with. On one hand, he's so entertaining to have around, but on the other hand, our personalities clash frequently. I truly was upset with him. He was driving and I was sitting next to him fuming. Trying to keep myself from unleashing the fury I felt because I feel he's so selfish. He's 18, yes, but I had had enough. He broke the ice and unleashed an avalanche. I cried. I just don't know how to get to him. But his smile. I love him so much. I feel for him and I never want to hurt him.


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